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| The XKR convertible doing what it does best. Pity all this will be wasted on rich drivers with midlife crisis. Photo: Frans Kruger iyamila.com |
“IT was the pitying smiles from all the women that made me do it,
Your Honour, really it was.”
That will be my defence, should Jaguar ask about the
crowd-thrilling celebrity figure 8 the XKR convertible and the Toyota 86 each
got to make at the past weekend’s sell-out spinning event at Mason’s Mill.
Co-organiser of hosting club Sidewayz, Michael Chetty, told The Witness yesterday that more than 9 000
petrolheads came from as far as Durban to gasp at the freestyle stunts
demonstrated by some 80 of SA’s top spinners who competed in the national
event.
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| With the throttle jammed and tyres spinning the driver gets out to polish off that pesky bug. Photo: Frans Kruger iyamila.com |
Sidewayz events at Mason’s Mill are unique in that they are free to
anyone who walks in from neighbouring Edendale. “It is part of the club’s effort
to encourage motor sport to grow among community,” said Chetty. But back to the
XKR and that “celebrity” figure 8.
There I was, parked all nice and civilised behind the grandstand
with the R1,8 million car that Jaguar’s fleet manager had entrusted to me for
the weekend.
I was doing what the trade calls a “static display”. In practice it
means smiling a lot and every now and again taking your rag to wipe off the
fatty marks left by the last gawker.
I was telling someone how this third generation V8 would pull
220 km/h as quick as you can flick the paddles and then still pull like a train
until you reach the electronic 300 km/h limiter.
The active diff and even more active electronic stability programme
means you won’t lose it in every corner either.
Next to me was the other celeb car of the day, the new,
nifty-looking Toyota 86, itself a vehicle made to burn rubber.
Deon Oliver, dealer principal at Toyota in Pietermaritzburg. was
chatting to a grey-headed gearhead who had already ordered an 86.
A few of the younger spinners were ribbing the buyer that it was a
car a man buys when he has a midlife crisis.
“So what! I can’t afford a Porsche, so I ordered an 86, you know?”
he joked back.
I noticed, meanwhile, how their girlfriends would shoot a glance at
the XKR in its sleek, top-down glory, and then send a certain ... um … measuring
glance my way. Followed by that pitying smile.
Which is when I literally lost my polishing rag and delegated a
driver to show the crowd that the XKR is much more than a compensator.
The delegated driver was necessary because I had not paid the
R1 000 licence to the Motor Sport South Africa to compete in a national event.
With the R79 700 soft top folded down, we went to make smoke.
Nothing like the spinners who danced on their car roofs or polished the bonnets
of their straining engines, but enough to earn the Jag a lot of street cred
among all the spinning fans.
Before you can make smoke, you have to know how to switch off that
anti-slip regulation. (It takes a while, and for the protection of both yourself
and the Jag’s tyres, you will have to watch Top Gear to learn how
it’s done.)
The XKR proved itself to be such a magnificent drifter that it
earned the undying devotion of the young spinner, who now wants to grow up
quickly so that he can make his fortune, have his midlife crisis and buy one.
This despite my pointing out the merits of the stronger BMW M6 convertible,
which is also some R400 000 cheaper, and even the E500 Merc, which, while not
nearly as sexy, costs half the price for the almost the same torque (and none of
those pitying smiles).
For the ladies, of course the XKR is a car that compensates for
something — in my case, it more than made up for a delayed start to a happy
childhood.
And that is exactly the joy of this convertible: It can and does
make up for anything that may be lacking in your life.
Some
numbers:
Price: R1 834100
Engine: 4,4 Supercharged AJV8
Power: 405 kW.
Torque: 680 Nm.
Best consumption: 8 km/litre (12/100)
Worst consumption: Let’s not go there.
