What type of driver are YOU then?

Do you like to wear a hat? 

See what this says about you , and 

F1 winner Lewis Hamilton, in our informal analysis.

Circle the letter that best describes you and check the result below.

What team logo would you put on your car?

a) Sharks of course.

b) Bucs, for sure.

c) That little rainbow apple with the bite mark.

Do you know your helmet size?

a) No.

b) I used to but forgot.

c) Yes.

White-walls only look good on:

a) Sesfikiles.

b) Harley-Davidsons

c) Sea-side homes.

Do you remain quiet behind slower cars?

a) No.

b) Sometimes.

c) I practise laughter yoga while driving.

Speed cameras only start trapping:

a) At 10 km over the speed limit.

b) Within 200 metres.

c) Don’t know.

How many cushions are in your car?

a) None.

b) One for the baby.

c) More than two.

Do you know how many cc’s the 318i has?

a) Yes.

b) Just under two litres.

c) What is that in cup size?

Are there stickers below the A-pillar of your car?

a) Yes.

b) Does a bit of duct tape on the inside count?

c) What is an A-pillar?

You scrub off speed by:

a) Tapping the brakes before going into the apex.

b) Gearing down.

c) I scrub at the car wash.

Do you wear a hat while driving?

a) No!

b) Sometimes.

c) Yes.

Blue lights should be:

a) Allowed on all qualified drivers’ cars.

b) Treated as a sure sign of a banana
republic.

c) Banned.

What time is your car’s 0-100?

a) That would be telling ;-)

b) A sub-10.

c) erm ... noon?

Do you SMS while driving?

a) lws, lol

b) No, its illegal even to hold a cellphone.

c) Only at traffic lights.

Would you put a “baby on board” sticker in your car?

a) Yes.

b) Does not apply.

c) If I transport a baby.

To get the average
km/l from l/100 you:

a) Drive on one litre until the car stops.

b) Divide 100 by the litres used.

c) Is that SMS for kamel?

LSD refers to:

a) Large Screen Display.

b) A type of differential.

c) A halocegenic drug.

Autobahns should be:

a) Declared in SA.

b) Banned in Germany.

c) Installed above the washing machine.

Low profiles make the ride:

a) Nippier.

b) Harder.

c) Less visible.

Do you have after-market rims?

a) Yes, 22 inches.

b) Yes, with those bicycle wire spokes.

c) I mostly buy my fruit at the mall.

Mostly Bs and Cs: Bowls player

Bowls players are considerate drivers up to the point when they suddenly ask: “Oh heck, am I driving now!?”.

Which is why they wear things on their head. It is a subconcious attempt to tie up their thoughts, which would otherwise meander all over the place.

When young, the hat is often a cap worn backwards. The hip ones wear bandannas.

Unless it is a racing helmet in a rally car, all head appendages are a warning to following drivers:
“scatterbrain ahead!”.

Mostly As and Bs: Petrolhead

You started out as a boy racer and then discovered you can crash all too easily.

Now you focus your A-type talents on working hard and then spending the income on things that can go faster, and the more it costs, the better it must be, right? You still put foot — a bit — on the straighter sections of the highway and your GPS tells you where all the cameras are. Makers of overpriced razor blades and German cars absolutely love you.

Straight As: Road rage warrior

You came out of the womb a boy racer, even if you came out a girl.

You drive too close to everyone in front of you, swerve into the tiniest gaps just to show you can, and when you grow older, you will drive a Korean SUV or a white Hilux Raider.

If you are lucky to survive your first crash, you may calm down and become a petrolhead.

Meanwhile, there is a lot of gel in your hair and too much testosterone in your veins.

Mostly B: Sensible driver

Your vehicle is white or silver, almost or totally paid for, and your insurance premium offers the best package.

You chose your Toyota from a short list of equally matched cars because its parts basket had the lowest price.

The file on this car includes the invoice of the first air freshener you bought. You only suffer road rage aloud when the moon is full.

Otherwise you drive slower than the speed limit, both in front of the cameras and past them, because you revel in how this improves your average fuel consumption.

Mostly C: Taxi fodder

You are that considerate driver that lets other people into the queue.

Because for you this whole car thingy is just a way to get you to point B independently. More often than not you drive a lightly dented French or Italian brand.

You are not shy to show the way you roll with cushions, sports-team logos, patriotic window socks — or all of the above — for when you HAVE to go sit in traffic. If a cheaper, reliable mode of public transport
ever served the route you commute, you’d be on it like a shot.