Two generations of voters asked if the Kia Cerato will fit South
African ministers’ new capped car budgets. ALWYN VILJOEN and SIMON HAW debate
the issue
BLANK out the logo, park it next to an Audi and very few ministers
would believe this is a Kia.
History tour guide and author Simon Haw agreed: “Wafting along in
the back of the Cerato 2.0 SX, I had to keep pinching myself as a reminder that
I was in a Kia.
“A mere 15 years ago, the Korean maker was producing Mazda clones
for its senior partner, the Ford Motor Company, before imploding along with
Daewoo in the collapse of the Asian Tigers in 1998.
“Rescued by Hyundai, a brand that had relied heavily on Mitsubishi
in its early years, Kia was something of a poor relation to Korea’s biggest
motor brand.
He asked if the Kia Cerato would meet Pravin Gordhan’s new vision
for “cheaper” cars, like the Audi A6? Alwyn Viljoen told him the automatic
Cerato 2,0 SX costs R5 short of R300 000, which is well under Gordhan’s
benchmark Audi, the 2,0T of which costs R511 000, without many of the bells and
whistles in the Cerato.
Haw noted that the interior was roomy enough for our poor deprived
cabinet ministers to use for chauffeur-driven trips to Parliament.
“There is a proper back seat with plenty of legroom, not a perch
for midgets or double amputees. The boot, too, is large enough to hold all the
goeters
of even the most compulsive shopper among those ministers noted for their
conspicuous consumption.”
Space constraints prevent listing all its luxury features, but
perusing the handbook, Haw became convinced
Kia had cleaned out its shelves to
fill every available nook in the Cerato SX with a luxury item, starting with
enough air bags to build a jumping castle.
“For us antiques who are finding it more and more difficult to
swivel our arthritic necks, the parking camera proved very handy, as did the
numerous sensitive parking sensors, in the crowded parking lot with bays
seemingly designed for motorbikes only.”
Upon coming out of the shops, the Cerato threw us a curved ball.
The front right tyre was flat.
Rolling up the sleeves, we were relieved to find the Cerato packs a
full-sized tyre on the same handsome alloy rim as the road tyres.
Unlike our privately-owned Renault Clio and Fiat Multipla, which
require a degree in mechanical engineering just to release the spare and replace
the tools, changing a Kia’s tyre is a doddle.
On the road, the Cerato wafts rather than lurks, but it has enough
presence to have people make way even when you are not trying to overtake. Think
of the savings to the tax payer in blue-light escourts alone.
Viljoen said that while the Cerato can take turns quick enough to
have his senior colleague grab the roof handle, it was as if the Koreans knew
South Africa’s ministers may soon have their entourages driving rather than
flying between Cape Town and Pretoria.
Set the speed control at 110 km/h, shove a USB loaded with your
favourite music into the plug-and-play audio system, adjust the dual-zone
climate control just so and off you go. “You can even stop and actually meet
your constituents en route,” said Viljoen.
Haw said: “Another motoring journal described the VVT motor as
unrefined, but I think they must have forgotten to take their happy pills that
morning. I found it a source of effortless, gliding power. “Being normally
confined to the budget end of the motoring world, I also loved some of the
Cerato’s party tricks — the way it gracefully, balletically almost — unfolded
its mirrors as you approached, for instance.”
Viljoen said that a minister on Gordhan’s budget may find R299 995
a lot of moolah
for a Kia.
“But just check the Cerato against the competition before giving it
a miss, minister. “You get a lot of kit in a nicely finished, roomy saloon for
the money and — to prove you are not siding with that other Breitling-wearing
brand-junky agent — you should really give the Kia a close look.”
