Geniality comes standard

Road rage is simply not an option in the range of Minis currently on sale, inspiration to be more than a mere commuter is, writes ALWYN VILJOEN

A MINI and a Rolls-Royce have this in common — they are not cars. Instead, they are lifestyle statements. With wheels, if you insist.

It is true too, that Mini drivers have more fun. Be it in the traditional Cooper, the racy toupé — sorry, coupé — or the spacious Clubman, geniality is bolted onto the chassis of the very different packages.

I have lived with all three Minis now, and while not quite ready yet to emulate the advert that shows how a grinning countryman driver pulls a base jumper into the air before making a handbrake turn to sling-shot the jumper over a cliff, each Mini inspired me to be more than a mere commuter.

Now, there is a fourth wheeled- style statement to aspire to — the new Mini Roadster.

It comes with the same 1 598 cc four-cylinder petrol engine that drives the others, and a suspension imported directly from the race track. Which means the Roadster will have — if not the same spine-cracking ride as the coupé — at least the very firm ride of the Clubman.

An April Fool's joke, there is not reason why this spoof
caravan should not work.

Mini on Sunday did announce a brilliant plan to dampen the racy ride a bit — just hook a caravan onto the rear. Of course, it has to be a racing red, designer Cowley caravan. Pity then, that Sunday was also April Fools’ Day. For if the mini caravan does ever make it from concept to reality, it will be the ultimate in cool at events like Splashy Fen.

Myriad details hint that this eventuality is not entirely impossible. The concept caravan unit is a bit wider than the Clubman, mirror to mirror, and weighs just over 300 kilograms. And Mini says it “offers everything you need to pitch camp in comfort — two welcoming sleeping berths, a twin-burner gas stove, a water tank with pump and dish-washing facility, a solar module to charge the on-board battery, and a 230-volt power connection to supply the refrigerator, TV/DVD and stereo sound system”.

Meanwhile, for the jaded driver who has tried everything else, try the Clubman. It is currently my mini favourite. For fun and for work. Of course, “real” Mini drivers will laugh at you, and say “it looks like a large mutant truck”, but being in a Mini, you can just genially laugh it off yourself.

• Cooper: R295 000*

• Cooper S: R349 000*

• JC Works: R397 000

* Add R16 100 to buy the Steptronic auto)

• John Cooper Works: 155 kW/260 Nm at 1 850- 5 600 rpm (280 Nm with overboost at 2 000–
5 100 rpm).

• S Roadster: 135 kW/
240 Nm at 1 600–5 000 rpm (260 Nm with overboost at 1 730- 4 500 rpm).

• Roadster: 90 kW/
160 Nm at 4 250 rpm.