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Thursday, January 29, 2015

Read The Fantastic Manual, (or 12 ways to live long like Chinese)

Notices for riding of pregnant lady: we kindly suggest you to use the seat belt or consult doctors for effective suggestions. The seat belt section under the waist shall be lowered to the extend possible under the humpy abdomen.

The owner's manual of the Wingle 6 sounds as if a caring Chinese
granddad wrote it for his American granddaughter
-- using Google translate.
These days, a car's ability to connect seamlessly with smartphones is much more important to buyers than its 0-100 time. Which is why good motoring hacks now count USB ports and AUX jacks and then check how idiot-friendly the audio entertainment system is to pair.
(Luckily all motoring journalists are suitably qualified for this -- the friendly bit, I mean.)
In this manner I recently got to prod the buttons of two Wingles -- the very sturdy Wingle 5 and the more luxurious, but cumbersome Wingle 6. (These pickups sell as "Steed" elsewhere, but let's not try to wangle ourselves out of Wingle. This is all about things being lost -- and gained -- in translation.)
Having noted the poor reception of the fractal aerial, the requirement to download software to make the USB cable work and finally connecting my Sony Experia with the Bluetooth radio WHILE driving in the Wingle 5, I thought setting up my phone to work over the speakers of the better appointed Wingle 6 would be even easier.
Ha!
That audio system humiliated me in the worst way... it send me all the way back to the RTFM level.
Not that the manual helped. That Experia never did get connected. But in this case, is was a rare case of Read The Fantastic Manual.
The entire owner's manual book sounds like it was written by a wise and caring old trucker who sat down to list a lifetime of tips from his driving trade to help his granddaughter, who recently gained her license to drive.
Below are some verbatim extracts of his sound advice. Go find a quiet place and read them aloud in his wavery voice to hear the love, even for the small animals cat and rat:

* Do not drive the vehicle with trouble.
* Please timely remove snow, leaves, etc on the body before driving.
* Confirm that no small animals such as cat and rat are in the engine compartment and underneath the vehicle.
* After vehicle washing or running out of road with puddle, please gently tread on the brake pedal to confirm the brake functions properly.
* Notices for riding of pregnant lady: we kindly suggest you to use the seat belt or consult doctors for effective suggestions. * The seat belt section under the waist shall be lowered to the extend possible under the humpy abdomen.
* Be sure to shut down the engine when you doze off.
* Please do not place the child safety seat not used inside the vehicle at will.
* When opening the fuel cap, please do not continue opening in case of the sound ‘chuu’.
* Vehicle approach of smoke and fire is forbidden.
* Do not wiper fog on the glass during vehicle running.
* Common sense: It is preferably that battery configuration of rescue vehicle is better than that of your vehicle (vehicle in short of battery power), otherwise it’s not conducive to engine start. If so, please extend the time to charge your vehicle (vehicle in short of battery power).
* Interior maintenance, seat belt: Dusty guide ring of the seat belt will baffle the retraction of the seat belt, and in the case wipe the inner side of the guide ring with clean cloth dipped in warm neutral soap water and isopropyl alcohol.